Quiet Moments

I want to write, I want to express and share my feelings but I do not want to write about the mundane things going on in my life. Someday I would love to write a book on a brilliant topic. I have no idea what that topic is yet?

I love reading blogs. I love reading journals, biographies, etc. When I read about another's journey and the trials and celebrations they are going through I am encouraged. I gain wisdom and encouragement from women who have gone through many life experiences before I have experienced them myself. Learning that not everyone is perfect, and about the daily insecurities and trials women suffer through reminds me that I am not alone. It reminds me that we are in is thing called 'life' together, and even in those moments when God feels so distant, or more appropriately, we feel so distant from God, we have friends. Friends in the blogging world, at our workplace, at church, or half way across the world that can encouarge us, sympathize with us, and just help to make us feel 'known'. I love when I feel 'known'. When someone knows my talents and my flaws and loves me and supports me dispite my shortcomings.

Community is truly a gift from God.

Happy Day

I NEED TO BLOG!!!!

My life has been busy with work, work, work. We have a lot of deadlines due this week! Because my program is funded by federal grant money I have to pretty much tell the government what we do every second of the day, who is there every second of the day, and explain every little penny I spend. It's tons of fun.

Bruce and I went to his holiday work party last Saturday night. It was a ton of fun, I even got to buy a new dress! The party was downtown Dallas in a super fancy hotel. Filet mignon for dinner, and Starbucks coffee as a gift! It was nice to meet Bruce's coworkers and to have a fun night downtown, but I think my school's holiday party is going to be even better. I mean a Mexican restaurant, with about 50 teachers...oh yeah, it's going to be good. (Plus, let's be honest. Engineers can be slightly awkward in social situations.)

I'm really looking forward to coming home for Christmas and spending time with the people I love. Feeling very blessed and thankful lately!

God is so good. I like knowing that when life is good, God is good. And when life is hard/seems bad, God is still good. We're never walking alone through the hills and valleys of life, and that thought is so comforting! Hope everyone is having a wonderful week!

Weekends are a Blessing

This weekend was nice. On Friday Bruce and I went out to dinner and had some intentional conversations. Sometimes I don't want to tell Bruce how I am feeling, I want to keep my feelings inside and I want him to figure it out without even giving him a hint. Well I have learned that is just crazy. He wants to know how I am feeling and what is going on, but I have to be intentional and tell him. He is not a mindreader. It was nice to have an open and honest conversation about where we are both at.

On Saturday I went to the DTS wives retreat. It was interesting. I only knew one other lady there and her and I talk for a little while. I met some more women and it was nice to talk with them about where they moved from or what year their husband is in in school. There were all different ages there, I was one of the youngest ones but there were women who looked just as young as I am. The speakers were pretty good. The first speaker talk about the importance of going to Jesus first. Getting to know Jesus and being satisfied in him first and foremost, before going out and trying to change the world. It was a good reminder to seek Jesus first, and if my relationship with him is first, then out of that others will see my love for Him. The second speaker was a native of Texas, and her accent gave her away quickly. She discussed how to manage your time wisely. She also discussed how to keep the house clean, how to be a good mom, and how to keep dinner on the table. It was funny. In our culture today I rarely hear about the importance of being a good housewife and mom. I mean, I feel at times it's almost looked down upon to 'just' be a stay at home mom. I really am looking forward to having children and I hope Bruce and I will have the means for me to be a stay at home mom, but I wonder when people ask me what I do, will I still say I'm a teacher or will I say I am a mom? Or will I say I am a teacher, but I am just taking some time off to raise the kids. I don't know. Will I be satisfied with being a full time mom or will I be counting down the years until I can go back to work? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Bruce and I had a low key Sunday. We stayed in all day (with the exception of going to church) and got some chores done around the apartment. I also ordered a cable plan for our new tv. This caused a bit a tension between Bruce and I. Bruce despises cable. We have not had cable for the past year. During our first three months of marriage I was fine with it because I was really busy with student teaching, and during the summer I didn't mind either because we were running around all summer spending time with our friends and family before our big move. But now that Bruce is in school, and my job is less demanding I would like to have cable. Bruce doesn't like it because there are so many trashy shows on, and I agree there are a lot of trashy shows, but I really like watching the news. I also like watching the kids movies that are on occasionally. So this weekend Bruce went along with my desire and we ordered the most basic plan of cable you can get. I am excited, which is kind of sad. I keep myself busy by reading, writing to friends, blogging, etc. but sometimes it would be nice to watch a little tv. So we'll see if cable rots my brain?!

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving in a few weeks. It will be the first Thanksgiving Bruce and I have spent together (just the two of us) and I am hoping whatever I decide to make tastes good. I hope we enjoy the day and I don't miss my family too too much. Maybe Bruce and I can start our own Thanksgiving tradition this year. Any suggestions? Bruce and I got a Christmas tree this weekend at Hobby Lobby at half price, so I am going to continue the Allen family tradition and put up my tree the day after Thanksgiving!

Happy Monday!

It's November...Yay!

I have been in Texas for approximately 3 months. Wow. On the way home from church last night I realized that our time in Texas is a part of our journey. What I mean by that is someday we'll be telling our kiddos 'yeah, when we lived in Texas is was so hot,' or 'the people we met in Dallas were so nice,' etc. My parents used to tell us their stories from when they lived in Ohio and how they had to move three times, and about my dad's adventures as a youth pastor. It dawned on me that Bruce and I are having our own adventures, and even though we have tough times that someday those tough moments might be some of our favorite memories.

It was just a strange thing to think about. Dallas doesn't really feel like home, but we are beginning to belong more and more. I have no idea how long we will be here (that depends on Bruce's job) but I know we are making memories we will never forget. Our first apartment so far from home, my first job with a salary, our first Thanksgiving alone, choosing a church on our on, Bruce's time at DTS, etc. So many memories. I am so thankful God provided this opportunity for us (even when I didn't want to move.) Bruce and I are learning how to be married, how to fight well, how to communicate better, and how to do life together. Although I feel lonely at times, being in a new place, with few friends, I am thankful for God using this time to build my relationship with himself and with Bruce stronger. My relationships with my sisters, parents, and friends have also been strengthened by this experience. Because I live so far from many of the people I love it forces me to be intentional about calling, sending letters, etc. A relationship means so much more when you are invested and intentional rather than being friends simply because of proximity and location.

All this being said, I am SO excited to come home for Christmas!!! Can't wait to spend time with family and friends. I am so blessed, and I will be forever thankful.

Random Note: Bruce is getting glasses. We were in Lens Crafters for about 2 hours on Saturday. I think he is excited, now he can officially go for his dream of becoming a professor because he looks the part! I'll post pictures as soon as he gets them!

A Warm & Sunny Halloween

In the past few days I have felt constantly reminded about how blessed I am. Truly, truly blessed. This transition to Texas has been difficult because I miss my family, friends, and the familiarity of home but God is teaching me so many lessons during this journey.

My job is so great. I get to hang out with kids after school, who so badly want someone to hang out with. Today we offered about ten classes; Fashion Club, Basketball, Soccer, Cooking, Robotics, just to name a few. I love it that the kids get so excited to see me after school, and they are always excited to hear what classes we have for the day. Today I brought cookies for Halloween and I've never seen kids more excited. One of the many reasons why I love my job is because it's all about the kids. I don't have to stress if all my kids are passing or not passing my class. I simply get to build relationships with kids and love on them. And that is what I love to do. The kids I work with each day can be difficult, but I know that they are gaining something from this program and I feel happy and blessed that I was chosen to care for these kids.

My husband is great. He loves me so well, and he is so intentional about loving me. Today I came home to flowers, and giant hug. It is so wonderful to be valued and loved for who you are (the good, the bad, and the ugly.) I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful man leading our family. Marriage is hard, but definitely worth it!

God is so good. Even when I don't understand his plan. I am learning to trust, and my church community is helping me learn to trust God with everything. And for that I am grateful. Although I am homesick, I am so grateful for a God who is greater than all my fears and worries. He is so good.

20 Days Later

Wow, 20 days can go by quick! This year is truly flying by. In just a few months Bruce and I will celebrate our one year anniversary! How did a year go by so quickly?

Work is what held me captive the past few weeks. I love my job, I love hanging out with the kids, I love that I feel like I am making a difference (even if a small one). Because of my love and passion for my job I have a hard time stopping, or leaving work at work! I need to get better at this because I need more than just work!

Bruce and I are continuing to meet more people through DTS, and next weekend I am going to a wives retreat (I didn't really want to go, but Bruce thinks it'll be a good way to connect with other woman. I know he is right, but sometimes those things can be a little awkward.) I do hope to meet some women my age, I am in need of some community!

I am excited for November to begin. I miss home. A lot. I am so pumped to come home for Christmas. Seriously, so excited. I love my Indiana family and friends! Sorry for the short post..I have to get back into the swing of blogging.

A List of Thoughts

I want to write, but I have too many thoughts for words. But, I'll try. I'll make it a list today.

1. Yesterday was a hard day at work. I had to ask some of my favorite students to not come to my program Thursday because they were being disrespectful towards other teachers. Those students do have attitude and they are disrespectful at times, it is just so hard getting them to see themselves as disrespectful. I don't know what their home life is, but I know many of them don't even live with their parents, maybe an aunt or grandmother. I don't know how to relate to them. Luckily from what I've experienced middle schoolers don't stay mad long so hopefully by Monday they will be back with fresh perspectives. We'll see?

2. Bruce and I went to Elder-led prayer last night at church. It was our first time going and it was really cool to be a part of. There were probably 500 people there praying together. For an hour and a half we prayed. It was difficult for me to focus because I was thinking about the girls from my program that I mentioned above. Dallas is such a different environment than small town Indiana, I just want to find the best way to love these students. They desperately need someone to be there for them. But because I was thinking about my students, etc. it was hard for me to focus at church. Bruce did a lot of the praying, and I did a lot of the listening. But it was still good, and a very cool experience.

3. Bruce and I are having a visitor this weekend! Aaron. He was the best man in our wedding and he is Bruce's best friend. I am excited to have a visitor. I am so ready for something familiar from home. Aaron is such a good friend to Bruce, and I am excited to get to know him better. I think we are going to try to go to a Rodeo. Lots of Texas fun!

4. I need to make friends. I am getting pretty lonely. Bruce and I have lots of fun together, but I need some girl time. I'm hoping I find some girls to hang out with soon. Also, I am bad, really bad at calling my friends from Indiana. I want to/must get better at this. The thing about friendships after college is that you have to be so much more intentional about making time for them. The telephone and I don't get along well, but I thinks it's time for a change.

5. On the other hand cooking and I are getting along better. Most of the things I make turn out tasting pretty good. One of my new favorite websites is disneyfamily.com. It is a great place to find fun and easy recipes. Also, you can find fun crafts and recipes for kids. I'm going to enjoy the website even more when I'm a mom (someday far from now, but hopefully not too far). The only thing I have found about cooking is that it is pretty much impossible to make your food look like the recipe pictures. Mine always looks sloppy...but it still tastes good! Guess that's more important!

6. Seasons of change are hard. Growing up is hard. Sometimes I look at my students and I see myself back in middle school. I mean it really wasn't that long ago. I am closer in age to my students than I am to most of the teachers at my school. Transitioning from student to teacher has also been difficult. I miss college, the classes, the people, the atmosphere. I know I am exactly where God wants me, but it has still been a weird transition. I really love my job, the students I work with, and the teachers I work with. But at the same time I really miss everything familiar about Purdue, home, friends, family, classes and learning. So I am at this divide of letting go, and learning to be content and happy where I'm at.

7. Two Words. Work Out. I need to do this! I have not worked out in over a month and my body and brain miss it. It is so hard getting back on the band wagon when you've fallen (or jumped) off.

8. Bruce and I need to find a place to serve in Dallas. Whether that be at our church or somewhere else. It is so important to be an active servant of Christ, and I know that I can serve God through my job and through my relationship with Bruce, and co workers, but I would really like to find a place where Bruce and I can go and be intentional servants. I need to get on this, and find a place. I know there must be tons of city homes we could serve.

9. Lastly, think about sponsoring a Compassion Child. I went to Africa about 4 years ago now and I worked at a Compassion Center (and it was an awesome experience!!). Those kids are in need of love, financial support, and prayer. Bruce and I are supporting a lovely girl named Jolly. She's such a cutie! What I love about the Compassion Ministry is that you get to write letters, send pictures, and be in contact with your child throughout their entire lives. In some cases you can even arrange to meet your child. Think about it! Click here if you want to learn more!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Thursday and a great weekend!

Highs & Lows...but mostly Highs!

This post is probably going to be all over the place with my thoughts! I have so much on my mind and sometimes it's hard to organize it all into specific categories. I want to start blogging more, my goal was once a week, but I think I'm going to up that to twice a week and see how it goes.

This past week was a wonderful week. There were challenges and obstacles that needed to be addressed and overcome at work and I rose to the occasion and by the end of the week the after school program was running pretty smoothly (as smoothly as an after school program can). We had over 60 kids last week which is the most that have participated yet, so all in all it was a great week. Plus, I'm falling in love with my school. The staff at my school is awesome, they have been so encouraging, so willing to help, and so welcoming! I know that God planned for me to be here at RNJH and I feel so blessed. I keep praying that I'll do my best in my position and that he will use me to love on the students. Which my job is set up so perfectly to make solid relationships with the students, because I do not teach during the day, I simply get

to hang out with the kids at lunch, say hello to them in the hallways, and then plan fun activities for them after school. I hardly ever have to put on the 'serious/harsh' teacher face because my students have a choice. They don't have to stay after school, they want to stay after school. This makes a huge difference in the formation of my relationships at school, both the students and I are invested in the classes after school, which makes everything so much more fun! This has been such a unique experience for me and I love it! So glad God had this in His plan for me.

My weekend was fun. Not too much to do, so it was nice to relax and get things done around the apartment. We finally hung up our pictures around the apartment, and we also did a deep clean of the whole place, which felt good to get done because it needed it. So not the most exciting agenda for a Saturday but still good. Bruce and I had a bit more fu

n Saturday night. First, we went to the Cottenwood Art Festival. I LOVE festivals, craft shows, flee markets, etc. so I was really looking forward to going and catching a glimpse of the art but also taking part in the fun pastime of people watching. Most of the art was beautiful, and pricey! Some of the art was unique, and let's just say I didn't get it. Sometimes I think I could be an artist with some of the things these people are selling! One of my favorite parts of the art festival were the cinnamon roasted almonds...so good!

After the art festival Bruce and I headed towards SMU. We had tickets to a debate entitled, "Can we Trust the Text of the New Testament?" The debate was between Bart Ehrman and Daniel Wallace, both professors and experts of text criticism and of the New Testament. The debate was SO interesting, and very heated. It was only supposed to be from 7-9 but lasted until after 10 p.m. Although Dan Wallace is the side that I am in support of (yes, we can trust the text of the New Testament), I would have loved to get Bart Ehrman in a room and ask him all of my questions. Ehrman's the one I find so interesting, because he used to be a Believer. He did research for years as a Christian, but eventually turned his back on his beliefs because of the evidence, or should I say lack of evidence we have for the authenticity of the New Testament. From what I learned at the debate it seems that we have over 20,000 copies of the New Testament, which is more than any other comparable work of it's time. But the earliest copies we have are from the late 2nd Century and on. Ehrman is not satisfied with the 20,000 copies from the late 2nd Century and on, his argument is that what if scribes from the 1st and early 2nd Centuries changed the text of the New Testament? How can we be sure ,or in other words, trust that we are reading the actual accounts of Mark, Luke, or John? Because we cannot know 100% what happened to the text in the 1st Century Ehrman says we cannot trust the text of the New Testament. So interesting. I disagree with him, but the debate made me think about how much I do not know. The debate inspired me to continue learning and to continue to seek out Truth at all costs. Seeking Truth is hard because it requires hard work and discipline. It would be so much easier to turn my head and say I don't care about the earliest manuscripts of the New Testament, or about learning more, or about seeking Truth. But as a Christian I need to be informed of what is going on in the world and be prepared to answer questions about my faith and why I believe what I believe. If I am in continual pursuit of the Truth, then I will be more bold about my faith and have my answers ready for when the questions come. It was a great debate. I suggest going to a debate if you have never been to one. Seriously more entertaining than a movie!

My post keeps getting longer and longer, congratulations if you are still reading!

The last thing I want to write about, which I probably will continue to write about, is that I miss home. I miss Kokomo, West Lafayette, Purdue, COG church, being familiar with an area, friends, fall weather, mom & dad, twins, my grandparents, and Brooke being a drive away in Lexington. I keep reminding myself that I am here as a part of God's plan, and I am exactly where I am supposed to be. But being a flight away from home is much harder than I thought it would be. God is using this time to stretch me, but is also using this time to strengthen Bruce and I's marriage. We are so blessed. I am so thankful for my job, for the wonderful church we've found in Dallas (4 people were baptized last night, that's only 1 of the 4 services), and for the friendly people in Dallas. So, even though my heart aches with homesickness I will continue to praise God for bringing Bruce and I to Dallas and for this wonderful adventure!

This last photo is from Cattlemen's last weekend! Notice the big steak! It was awesome!

Monday School Chaos = Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream

I am just going to start off by saying, I LOVE my job! And there are many things that I love about my job, but there are some things that I do not love about my job.

Today was utter chaos. And I do not like chaos, especially since I'm the one who is supposed to be 'in charge,' whatever that means? My school keeps trying to have detention after school EACH day a student does not turn in homework, which is understandable..if you don't do your homework at home, you have to stay after school to complete it. My big problem with this after school detention is that when detention is over at 4:15 the students have to find some where to 'hang out' until the bus comes at 5:00 (because most of the students ride the bus home). This is when things get a little hairy. I run the after school program which lasts until 6. We have a bus at 5 and at 6, so of course all the detention students are going to come to my program so they can ride the 5:00 bus home. But the real question is, what am I supposed to do with over 100 students who are forced to stay after school to do their homework?! Plus, my program is something the students are supposed to WANT to do, not something they are FORCED to do. I don't want to go into much detail, I just wanted to simply vent. It is not the school's, teacher's, or administrator's job to make sure a student has completed his/her homework. By the 7th/8th grade students should have developed some personal responsibility, but that is not true in many cases. Personal responsibility is not a lesson that can be forced onto a person, it must be taught by example, but unfortunately the families in America are not always the best teaching tool. I hear people complaining about how the education system is broken and failing, but from what I've observed in public schools, it is not the education system that is broken, it is the families in America that are broken.

I have big dreams and goals for my program. Most of my kids don't get to do a lot of things offered in my program outside of school because of the cost (soccer teams, ceramics, rocketry, cake decorating, etc.) I hope that my program keeps getting better. Days like today make it hard to see progress. I'm praying for the best and hoping God will use me in my position to love on the kids and show his light.

On a lighter note, Bruce and I went to Cowboy Country (also known as Ft. Worth) this past weekend! Two words: Texas Steak. Pictures and more to come!

Missing Fall

It has finally cooled down from triple digit weather to the 90's. I guess this is what Texans would call fall. BUT it is not what I call fall. (When you can wear shorts and a tank top, that does not equate with autumn weather!) I miss the cool weather, the Purdue football games, fall sweaters, and Starbucks pumpkin spice lattes. More than missing an Indiana fall, I am beginning to really miss home. I think after being in Texas for a month the reality is beginning to hit that I'm here for good. This is my new home, and it is up to me to meet friends and use the time God has blessed me with here well.

Which keeps me wondering how can

I use this time well? I am trying to find my fit in this new 'adult life' where I go to work Monday- Friday, and spend my weekends with Bruce, reading, and cleaning/decorating our apartment. One of the things I miss most about college is that there are so many ways to be involved, to serve others, groups to join, etc. Now that I'm in a new place on my own, it takes much more effort to find ways to serve others, to find groups to join, and to build community. What can I do to serve the people in my community? It is a difficult question when Bruce and I are still trying to figure out who our community is, where they are, and what their needs our. I know God has a plan for us here, it just seems we are off to a slow start. We haven't been doing much but reading, and relaxing. But maybe this time is a gift from God. A time to get to know one another better, to learn how to be married, a time not to be stressed or worried, a time just to enjoy life. So strange to go from a busy college lifestyle when there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done, to a relaxing lifestyle where I actually have time to read for fun, and experiment with cooking. I pray that God gives me peace in this new phase of life, t

hat Bruce and I can begin to form community (I need some girl friends in my life), and that we can find ways to serve God in the Dallas community.

I am looking forward to receiving my first 'big girl' pay check this Tuesday! Wednesday Bruce and I are going to a group connect night at our church to try and get plugged into a small group, and on Friday (per one of Bruce's DTS class requirements) we are visiting a Buddhist Temple. Should be very interesting. Also, there are SO MANY fun things to do in Dallas, so Bruce an I are planning something fun for next weekend. Maybe a trip to mid-evil times, Fort Worth, or a show in Dallas? Hope all is well!

Oh, the things you can do in a weekend!

Bruce and I had a FUN but CRAZY weekend! We both had pretty busy weeks at work last week so the fun and relaxing weekend was definitely welcomed.

Our weekend started with a visit from one of our friends from Indiana. Beau was in Bruce and I's wedding last December and while we were in college we saw Beau on a weekly basis! So it was so good to see him and catch up! First Bruce took us to an local old fashioned hamburger place...it is one of those places you know is going to be good before even walking through the door. And it was good, really good. We probably finished our meal in less than 15 minutes but we stayed at the restaurant for over 2 hours talking. Beau is reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and I read the book about two years ago. We had fun talking about which parts of the book spoke to us and convicted us about our love f

or God. Do I always live my life with crazy love for Christ? No. And thinking about the way I love Christ, and the way I live my life is something that needs to be in the forefront of my mind at all times. It was a great reminder. Then we talked about 'where we were' when September 11th happened. September 11th is the first day that I remember everything about. You know, those days where you'll never forget because of the tragedy experienced. It was good for us to talk and remember.

After the burger place, Beau suggested we go to Laser Quest. It did not take much convincing for Bruce and I to pop the address in our GPS and head over there. I love being a kid! Bruce and I picked out code names for each other when we got there. He was 'prancing pony' and I was 'twinkle toes." It was pretty great. Once we got in the dark pit of the laser war, I got pretty into it. I kept saying, "I come in peace," and then I would hold up a peace sign. This was my strategy to keep from being shot. Let's just say when it is pitch black, it is hard to see a peace sign. I did end up making an alliance with a 50 year old lady. (You can tell she had played before!) She had the best hiding place; it the highest spot in the pit so she could shoot people from above without getting hit. Somehow when I was up there, I still managed to get hit a time or two. I ended up taking 5th place out of about 15 people...not bad. Except Beau got 1st place and Bruce got 3rd! Luckily they did not rub it in the entire night.

I was ready to turn in after Laser Quest, but the boys had another adventure on their minds. And like most guys it had to do with food. I mean yes, we had already ate dinner, but that was at least 3 hours ago. So apparently in guy world you need to eat every 3 hours. So we went to In and Out Burger. I was way to stuffed from my first burger experience to get another burger, but I did share a neapolitan shake with Bruce. (I also tried a bite of his burger, and shared some of Beau's fries...which were amazing!) The cool thing was, the workers at In and Out Burger were like the workers at Chick-fil-a. You know the kind of workers I mean, people who are actually happy to be at work. It was awesome! Sure enough Beau explained why the workers were so awesome. Like Chick-fil-a, In and Out Burger is owned by a Christian. They pride themselves on friendly staff members. Another cool thing was that there were scriptures on the hats and the fry containers. It is cool that the people of In and Out Burger what to encourage others in their walks with Christ. After our second burger of the night we turned in. I went straight to sleep! I'm so glad we got to spend time with Beau. I hope we begin to make solid friendships here in Dallas, community is so important.

Saturday, Bruce and I went to IKEA. Whoa, talk about sensory overload. I had no i

dea a furniture store could be that big and have so many things to see and buy. I could do some serious damage in that store. We came out with a sofa and a small kitchen table. I was pumped, because up to that point I had been living with no furniture for 4 weeks. Not a huge deal, but it was definitely nice to have a couch and chair to sit on! I'll have to take some pictures soon, so I can show the world:)

Sunday was nice and pretty low key. We went to church (I love this church) and heard a great speaker, met a lovely lady, and got to worship in community. Bruce and I are going to a meeting next week to get plugged into a community group. I am so excited, I hope that it all works out. (We drive about 30 min to church, so we are hoping there is a community group which meets a little closer to where we live.) I also got to make some cards for family and friends on Sunday. I already LOVE sending cards to friends, but I decided this weekend that card-making is going to be one of my new hobbies. The first batch were not too impressive, but hopefully I'll get better with time and practice. The most interesting part of our Sunday was when Bruce and I went to Tom Thumb. It was getting pretty late, because I had been pushing off going to the store all day, and Bruce was not supposed to go with me because he had some reading to finish for his DTS class, but luckily I talked him into going with me! So when we got there it was like

any old regular shopping trip, then as we are trying to find a can of tuna (I never buy tuna, so I had no idea where it was) we hear all sorts of shouting. I automatically get scared and run to the back doors of the grocery store (where the shipments come in.) I know that the shouting is coming from someone who is angry and is saying something about 'not calling the police.' I just keep thinking this cannot be good. All the while Bruce is trying to calm me down, and we see more people flocking towards the back of the store and telling us not to go up there. No one knew if he had a weapon or not, but everyone knew he was crazy. He began knocking things over and yelling at the store workers, after about 5 minutes of this craziness the police showed up. It took 6 policemen to get this guy on the ground and get him out to the police car. Bruce and I helped the store workers pick up all the groceries the man threw everywhere. What was weird was a rosary and a little pocket Bible was mixed in with all the mess. It belonged to the guy (who we found out was trying to rob a car, and then rob the store). When we walked out to our car, of course the police car with the robber in it was right next to our car. I got directly in the car and Bruce put the groceries in the trunk. It was such a weird and scary experience; almost something straight out of the movies. I keep thinking about that man though, and I feel sorry for him. He looked like a kid, so lost. I prayed for him that night. I hope the Lord works in his life.

There is a lot of hopelessness in Dallas. I pray that God can use Bruce and I in this community to serve and love others. To show them there is hope in Christ.

Missing Indiana family and friends! Love you!

How does time go by more quickly each year?

By the end of the week I will have completed my first full month of work for my new 'adult job.' I really love my job so far. My hours are awesome 10:30- 6:30 M-R, and 8:30-4:30 on Fridays. I get to plan all sorts of games, activities, and crafts for the students to participate in after school. I also get to go buy cool Wii games, cooking supplies, board games, crafty supplies, movies, etc. (It is so FUN to go shopping when you are not spending your own money!) I also have really enjoyed getting to know the kids better, because my program runs after school the kids seem to open up more and tell me all sorts of things. Yesterday, one of my student's parents were late picking her up so we had some extra time for good conversation. She told me she wants to go to college to major in science so she can do experiments and 'go deeper' in science and learn new things. She is so sweet. I told her a bit about my junior high, high school, and college experiences and then she asked me if I would go back if I could. I thought it was a funny thing to ask, but she really seemed interested in my answer. I said no, I would not go back, but I wish I could tell myself not to get so worked up about the little things and enjoy school and being a kid.

The young girl went on to say she can't wait to go to high school, so she can go to college, and then get a job, and begin to make money. And I thought about her answer, and I am there. I mean I made it through high school, enjoyed college, and now I have a great job I enjoy, but really I do miss being a child. I miss the innocence and the time spent with family and friends and learning new things each day. Lately, I really miss Purdue/my entire college experience. I loved it! I made mistakes, grew up, made new friends, tried new things, and made memories I'll never forget. It is so cliche but now I know and understand all those adults who would point their finger at me and tell me to enjoy being a child and not to grow up too fast.

Realizing time moves so quickly the older you get has made an impact on the way I try to live my life. I try to enjoy each moment, even if I don't particularly like the season of life I am in, I still want to try and savor it, and learn something from it. Like the Casting Crowns song says, I am truly a vapor in the wind, and I don't want my life to go by and realized that I have missed it, or that I was too busy complaining or worrying about the next season of life to miss out on the joy of now.

Texas is HOT!

Hi All. This is my first official post from 'the lone star state.' Wow, Texas people love Texas. The kids at my school even say a pledge to the Texas flag. It's crazy. I don't really understand why they love it so much, it has been in the triple digits for the past 60 days, and all the grass is brown, dry, and dead. I mean I'm not saying Texas is a bad place to live or anything, I'm just surprised by the overall loyalty of the Texans. (And I think I'm a little partial to the Midwest & cornfields!)

Because of my job I moved to TX two and a half weeks earlier than Bruce. I had no furniture and no Internet access, let's just say I read about 5 books, and watched about 10 movies over the past two weeks. It was a good self learning and self growth time, but man I am sure glad Bruce is here! Life is just more fun with a buddy! Bruce was excited to be here too, I mean after a 15 hour drive with no air conditioning who wouldn't be glad? (I told Bruce to get the air fixed, but he said no. I tried to explain how unbelievably hot it was here, but he did not think it would be too bad.) Needless to say the first thing he said when he got here was, "I think we need to get the air conditioning fixed." YES!

The next day Bruce and I went to a Sears Outlet..which was awesome, because we got a washer and dryer for under $600! I was super pumped because going to a Laundromat in a big city is not the safest nor most pleasurable past time. But to get the washer and dryer we had to drive Bruce's Jeep (with no air) to Sears. We sweat through our shirts. By the time we walked in the store we were drenched. It was almost embarrassing but we were too hot to even care enough to be embarrassed. On the way home from Sears Bruce said, "We'll it is just a good reminder to be more friendly and to love on people for Christ, because Hell must be miserable!" It was funny.

The best part of our weekend was definitely going to church. We tried a new church called the Village. It was about 30 minutes North of us, but it was well worth the drive. The pastor's sermon gave me goosebumps because I was stirred by the Truth he was speaking. The focus was that God is the Main Point in this life. Not me, not my happiness, not anything about myself, and then he laid out the awesome implications of God being the Main Point! He also talked about making disciples in the church, and in the world. It was definitely a pump you up kind of sermon. Bruce and I were like, okay let's just make this our church home, get plugged in, and get going. But I think we are going to try some others, we don't want to rush in and make a quick decision. But then again, this church preached the Truth, and the worship was awesome! (We sang one of my favorite Hillsong songs!) So I think we will be trying out the Village again...hopefully within a month or two we can get plugged into a community group, because we need community! And we need some friends in good ol' Texas!

The rest of our weekend was pretty low key. I did a lot of unpacking and cleaning, and Bruce worked on our budget and answered emails. We still have no furniture because we are waiting for my first check to by stuff. (Which btw in Texas teachers get paid monthly, so my first check won't be until September 20th!) But before we tackle furniture (which we will probably just hit up goodwill, we live in a nice area so bet there are tons of great finds there) we will have to figure out a/c for the good old Jeep.

Feeling so blessed to have a job, a great apartment, and a wonderful husband! Even though my heart is homesick and I miss my friends and family a ton, I can't wait to see what God has planned for Bruce and I here. Life is such a sweet adventure...even if it is 108 degrees!

Books I'm reading...

Karen Kingsbury's Firstborn Series- I have only read the first book so far, and it was pretty cheesy, but also a fun cute read so I figure I might as well read the others. (Bruce and I don't have cable, so we do lots of reading!)

Walt Disney- The Triumph of the American Imagination- I love Walt Disney, so I figure why not read all about his life! I really enjoy biographies!

A Love Like No Other- It is a book of stories from adoptive parents. Bruce and I are not planning on adopting any time soon, but we have always wanted to. I'm reading it just for more information. Who knows, maybe one day we'll adopt?!

Have a wonderful Monday!

Sunday Afternoons

I love Sundays! One of the reasons why I love Sundays is because I get to go to church and worship God with a community of people. Another reason why I love Sundays is because it is a perfect day to spend time with friends and family. Today Bruce and I were able to spend some quality time with our good friends (soon to be newlyweds) Katie and Aaron. I love this couple, they are so fun to be around and they are such an encouragement to Bruce and I. First, we visited Katie and Aaron's church and heard a wonderful sermon (the sermon focused on the three words "of the Lord" and the minister called men to action and challenged them to be men of the Lord in the way they love their wives and raise their children...great message) then we all went out to a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant. It was so fun to catch up on books we've read, jobs, marriage advice/wedding planning etc. After dinner Katie and Aaron took us to their new apartment..it was so cute! Perfect for newlyweds and it will be a great place to make memories they can one day tell their children about. It was a wonderful day, with great conversations, and great friends. Katie and Aaron are more reasons why Bruce and I are going to miss living in Indiana so much. We have such great family and friends here, we are going to miss them greatly.

This week is going to be an interesting week. I will (hopefully) find out tomorrow if I need to move a week from now or two weeks from now. I am praying that I will be able to move two weeks from now, but we will see what the new boss 'suggests.' Nevertheless, I am excited about the week, mainly I plan on cleaning the house and beginning to pack some things up for the move. I am also hoping to have some lunch dates with friends, go to Indiana Beach with my sisters (I know this place is a little questionable now, but I have great family memories there so I have to go one last time before I move) and I would love to have a date with my dad this week. And on Saturday Bruce and I will be celebrating the marriage of Aaron and Katie!! So excited!

Also, I am going to try to blog at least once a week, and start adding pictures. I figure if I write my goals on my blog I have a higher chance of actually staying committed..we will see what happens!

New Job, New State, New Adventures

In less than two weeks, I'll be moving to Dallas, TX. This entire summer I have been somewhat dreading this move mostly because I did not have a job. BUT, now I can say otherwise...I GOT A JOB!! Can you tell I am excited? I am excited about my new job for the following reasons..

1. I get to work with students every day!

2. I get to be a 'boss' and manage and hire new staff.

3. I will be on the school schedule, which means Holidays and Summers off!

4. The pay was way more than I was expecting, which is always a good thing.

5. I get to be creative, develop activities, and plan field trips.

6. I will be challenged, kept very busy and I will get plugged into a new community immediately.

7. I have the chance to make a difference in the lives of teens each day!!

8. My school is only 8 minutes away from my new apartment.

God is SO good. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to move to Dallas and to work with youth. I am getting pretty nervous about the move (seeing as I have to move in two weeks and I have nothing packed or ready to go) but I know God has a plan for Bruce and I in Texas and I am excited to serve God in this new place!

Growing Pains

Student Teaching. I never want to be a 'student teacher' again. BUT, I would never, ever, trade my student teaching experience for anything. I have learned more about myself, my faith, the 'real world,' and life in the past ten weeks than ever before. Throughout my student teaching I have been challenged, discouraged, sad, angry, encouraged, and confused. I am going to miss my students. My college classes did not prepare me for the emotion roller coster of teaching. It is amazing that in just ten weeks I have made such meaningful relationships with many of my students. I feel like I am at the tipping point, that if I were to continue teaching I just might 'get it.' You know what 'it' is. 'It' is that special unknown quality that makes you not only an effective teacher but also a GOOD teacher. And in high school, the title of 'good' is just about as high on the ranking scale you can get. I am really going to miss my students. It is strange I care for these students so much when I've only know them such a short time.

TRANSITION

My life is in a transition time. And it's strange. I am graduating in two weeks. Moving away from Purdue, the home I have known for the past four years, and moving on to a new adventure. I am learning what it means to be a wife, and aspiring to be a Godly wife. I will be moving cross country with my husband at the end of the summer. Oh, and I have NO IDEA what I would like to 'do' with my life. Well, that's not entirely true, I constantly am striving to be a servant of the Lord. I want him to use my life for his purpose, for his plans. I just wish I knew what those plans were. I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing over the next year (not to mention I'll be further than a 45 minute drive from my family for the first time EVER) I am putting my hopes and dreams in the Lord. I pray he will continue to shape and mold my character into a young woman he can use for his kingdom. I long to serve, I just do not know what that looks like yet beyond serving in the 'everyday' areas of my life. For now, it is enough. Maybe I can serve my husband tonight by baking him cookies! :) And my doing the laundry, oh and the dishes that I have been putting off for almost a week now. Yep, it's that bad.

Feels wonderful to ramble about life and my many insecurities about the future.

Blessings

Today has been a difficult day for me. Teaching is so different than what I thought it would be. I am in a constant battle with my students to prove and explain the importance of literature. I am always asking them to look at a different perspective and try to look at life through another eyes. When we are reading stories or talking about how painful and evil the world can be at times, the students are always making comments, "How could someone kill another person for no reason?" or "How could things like the Holocaust happen?" or "Why do people kill themselves?", and "I wish people weren't so mean to one another." We can have a 45 minute discussion about all of these things and then not even 10 minutes later a student makes a jab at another student, calling him a 'fag' or an 'idiot'. SO my students don't get it. They do not see how they are contributing to this society, that the things they do and say have consequences. The choices they make will affect their entire lives. That by putting down a student or by bullying a student they are adding to the painful and evil of the world. It's frustrating that they cannot, or do not want to see their shortcomings or flaws.

What I want to say to them, and I might one of these days, is that the reason I am doing this, teaching you stories like "The Lottery," "Antigone," "To Build a Fire," is so that you can learn about life. So you can see that life is full of pain, death, difficult situations, and sometimes you are going to be so mad that you want to hurt someone or feel so lonely that you never want to talk to anyone again, BUT you can deal with these problems other ways then violence, suicide, or bullying, you can choose to write, read, talk, teach, discuss the problems you are going through.

Last week a 15 year old boy was shot by another 15 year old boy at a middle school in Martinsville, IN because of something about a school dance, and a disagreement about a girl. (Or at least that is the rumor.) I wish the student who committed this crime pursued another avenue to deal with his feelings and the pain in his life.

That is why I teach. I hope that my students can relate to at least one story in my world literature class and see that pain, death, violence, evil, and all the tough stuff in life have been around forever. And instead of turning to violence or bullying that they turn to reading, writing, or discussing these difficult and painful topics with others. I pray everyday and hope that my students are learning there is more to this life than the present pain and struggles they are going through.

Another sad story I heard today was about a young woman, 24, recently married, who passed away from pneumonia. This young woman was a friend of my cousins. All I keep thinking about is how this woman could have been me. It is so hard to understand death, and the deep pain that it brings, but I'm praying for the husband of this young lady and her family. I don't understand God's plans, and sometimes I get so frustrated with all the pain and evil this world brings, but I have to remember that God is bigger than all of the pain and he has conquered evil and Jesus will come back again.

I recently heard the song "Blessings" by Laura Story on the radio, and it moved me to tears the first time I heard it. I have to believe that the pain and difficult trials we go through are blessings in disguise. And that God will use our pain and tears to bring us closer to his side. I remind myself to take comfort in God's promise that He will restore our brokenness and the brokenness of the world someday.

LAURA STORY - "BLESSINGS" LYRICS

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It's not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Questioning Myself

Sometimes I wish I could run away. Run away from responsibility, run away from my fears and my worries, just run away.

I wonder how many people really do run away from their lives? Facebook, Internet, Books, TV, even as I am blogging right now I am using this as an escape. A way to run away from my life, the life filled with things I don't want to think about right now, or deal with right now. But the problem is when we turn off the computer, turn off the tv, close the book, and in a matter of minutes when I am finished blogging I (and we) have to face the harsh realities of life. I have to stare at the mess. I don't want to.

I have been questioning myself lately. A lot lately. How can a make a difference in this world? How can I love someone, truly love them? I want to be an encouragement, to lift others up. But I am questioning my ability to do so. I am questioning my self worth. Does my love and my caring nature matter to the world? I have to believe it does. And not just my own love and caring and sensitive perspective but also the perspectives and opinions around me. In our truest, most innate sense we, human beings, want to feel connected. To have a meaning. To be loved and valued. I will continue to seek ways to relate and to feel connected to others. To find ways to encourage others when they feel alone, when they are going through a difficult time, I will continue to look to God, my faith in him, pictures, artwork, literature, human compassion and love to encourage the world around me. My knowledge of these things that compose our world will not be solely for my selfish desire, my vanity to know things, to flaunt my arrogance of my knowledge, but the knowledge will be used to connect humanity in our unknowingness. To feel connected in a sense of mutual bond that we can search and search for the answers and knowledge but to come to the realization that we are all here together, connected by something greater than ourselves and we have to reach out and love and care for one another to get through this.

9 Weeks To Go.....

Student Teaching. Man, there is nothing like working for three and a half years to become a teacher and then wondering...humm do I really want to do this with my life? That is the question I have been pondering for the last few weeks. I love to read and I love to express myself through writing and literature, but am I passionate enough about English to teach this 'subject' to students everyday??? I DON'T KNOW! Hopefully after these nine weeks I will have the answer to that question.

Learning

It is so weird that I am married. It is also weird that I am about to begin student teaching (an experience that I have been preparing for for the past three and a half years). I wish I was more excited about student teaching. So far my 'observations' of teaching is nothing like I thought it would be. (Not surprising, life always seems to be like this). I am ready to make a difference, to work hard at something everyday. I want to make God proud and glorify him with my every moment. Easier said than done. I am hoping and praying that with each new day I will learn how to better glorify God with my moments. Whether I am simply making dinner for Bruce, doing laundry (weird, all of a sudden I am a housewife) and with each day I am at school I give my all to connect with my students.

So I am learning. Learning how to be married..this so far has been fun:) And learning how to be a 'teacher'. What I am finding is that both learning how to be a loving and serving wife, and learning how to be an encouraging and engaging teacher will be a life long lesson. Humm, I bet I will not be bored often.